Weblog

Sunday, 21 September 2008

  • first bit of somewhat promising creativenessness

    ...first somewhat-promising-noncrap-hopefully-has-potential writing in almost 6 months. let's see where this goes, shall we?

    Do These Bones Live?


    Ezekiel 37 “The hand of the Lord was one me, & He brought me out by His Spirit & set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. He led me all around them. There were a great many of them on the surface of the valley, & they were very dry. Then He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” I replied, “Lord God, only You know.”


    I could say Yes. When I wrap

    thin fingers around the stalk

    & wave them through the air

    dry with dust. When I beat

    out a rhythm like heavy cream

    against my sides. They move

    & shout & are alive in my grasp.


    I could say No. I could watch them

    lying in the shadow & feel their want

    for water, skin, a home. I could see

    their deadness like an eyeless painting,

    water colors, rotting fruit. & read

    their emptiness like a name plate.

    Pondering the wants of spirit-less things.


    & then...


    I could open my mouth, feel my lips

    swing apart – rusted gates with squeaking hinges.

    I could let His words spill from me,

    hot coals on my tongue & speak the light

    into a dark room. Watch them jump

    & join at the first song – grow themselves

    muscles to dance with.

          Eyes to see me.

               A heart to love.



Thursday, 24 July 2008

  • why do people always say that they feel like they're falling when everything is going wrong? i dont feel like i'm falling. i'm suspended.

    first off, i dont want anyone who reads this to think my life is miserable, because it's really not. i am a very blessed, happy person (for the most part) who has been through a lot and grown because of it. God's got a hand in my life and i couldn't be more grateful. i just tend to blog when i'm upset, so anyone who comes across one of my pages must assume that i'm visciously depressed. not the case O.o

     

    but right now i honestly feel like i'm being suspended while everything else around me is falling. and all i want to do is crash and cry and lay in bed all day and wake up the next morning feeling better. but i can't, it's grown up time. sigh.

    i locked my keys in my car last night, andrew had to drive me to work and then he's picking me up tonight to drive an hour to my house to get my dads spare and then forty minutes back to his house to get my car. my grandmom is really sick, the wound in her leg is infected again, she's septic, and they took her to the emergency room yesterday with a 103 degree fever. she's confused and disoriented and very ill. they're not sure if she had a stroke or not, and they say it's touch and go. and on top of that  i can't go see her in the hospital tonight because of all this i have to do with my car. i can't go to vbs and do crafts tonight or tomorrow bc of everything thats happening. not to mention i haven't made an appointment at work YET this week.

    i would have just left today with all of this happening,  but i can't because i dont have my car. and i though work could distract me. but i just ended up sitting here trying not to cry.

    i'm trying really hard to just press in to God right now and not let all of this tear me apart...i was reading Isaiah at lunch today.

    "...For there will be a canopy over all the glory, and there will be a booth for shade from the heat by day, and a refuge and shelter from storm and rain."

    *raises hand* sign me up?

    .me.

     

     

     

Monday, 21 July 2008

  • Updates and what not

    my weekend was fairly eventful, but not to the point of stressfullnessness.

    saturday- cleaned, watched a documentary about the Chinese population crisis (weird stuff, man). went to bother the boy, tagged along grocery shopping. met up with nikki and saw the Dark Knight (full of awesome-ocity!!!). back to my house, slept on the futon of death that my bed has become. eeww

    sunday- church which was...well, church. they did Consuming Fire which i haven't heard in a while and always always always reminds me of jamming at nikki's :D so i was quite pleased. err went back to my house and cleaned while andrew tried to fix garbonzo (stupid.dumb.laptop. **kicks** honestly, it serves as a paperweight at this point). listened to my mother freak out. freaked out mildly myself when my dad said i basically have no brakes and need to get new ones before my car will pass inspection (its up this month. i've spent probably about 1300 dollars on that car in 8 days. cheese and rice!!!! >.<). went to the lake with the boy and splashed around for a bit. came home and watched Rocky Horror (he was confused and underwhelmed lol). tried to sleep but my upstairs feels a bit like a sauna because heat rises and my house sucks. ended up sleeping on the couch in the living room to avoid sweating off half my body weight (might not actually be a bad idea, hmmmm ^.^)

    woke up. came to work. here i am. (ta-da!) (for some reason today i am quite fond of parenthesis. it's like a tiny grammatical punctuation-hug for lost and forgotten thoughts that are too small to fend for themselves in long sentences. like this one. haha ^.^)

    VBS tonight! rocking the crafts woohoo!!! :O)

     

Friday, 18 July 2008

  • a wee bit lost

    i haven't been able to write anything... at all... for six months now. and it's got me really scared.

     

    words are a part of me, poetry and language have always been a huge component of who i am... they've always been running through me all the time. i could be having a conversation with someone, watching tv, knitting a hat, driving... and a poem would be running through my head. i'd be writing lines in the back of my mind and listening to spoken word in my car.

     

    and now. well, it's gone. there are whispers of it every once in a while, i still love spoken word and listen to it constantly. but i just can't... get... things out on paper. and it's driving me insane. where did it go? did i do something to lose it?

     

    i want it back. feels almost like a piece of me is missing. :(

     

     

     

Thursday, 20 March 2008

  • it's been a while. Naked Unremebering.

    Naked Unremembering


                I was buttoned in my skin,

                shedding leaves of myself

                            like so many

                                        unwritten poems.

                A dream of flesh, naked

                back sealed to the sky, wild

                arms glazed in pearls

                of unremembered words.


                I undressed myself of language –

                sleeve by silken sleeve. Found

                            myself in primal

                                        grunts and moans,

                growled my name in gnarled sound.

                Forgot my father’s Tongue,

                shrugged my shoulders of it

                and stood bare behind the elms.


                I slipped into a silent,

                sudden leap and bristled

                            with the air a hot

                                        rush on my spine.

                Crouched in ancient leafy homes

                and clutched koalas to my breast,

                humming thoughtless star-struck songs

                and soothing each to ripened dreaming.


                I flung myself into the heart

                of this earth, full to bursting

                            and writhing with its

                                        steady pulsing beat.

                Peeled myself away from concrete

                scapes of mind and laughed,

                twisting in the wind –

                unbuttoned wholly, and unraveling at the seams.

theoretical_rhino

  • Visit theoretical_rhino's Xanga Site
    • Name: Brynn
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/22/2007

About Me

  • here's to: soaking up the rain. children. innocence. flowers. and all those other mushy gushy things. challenging people. asking questions. "what if". putting myself in another person's shoes, even if we don't agree. learning from someone i wouldn't expect. listening to those wiser than me. teaching others the things i think i know. loving someone with no thought or reason. loving something i hated before. trying to write and then hating what words i have produced. taking the Paul McCartney approach to writing (and wishing i could just be like John Lennon). wondering. never being satisfied. worship. prayer. faith. all the little things that mean so much more. the written word. the spoken word. the words in a mind so close to mine i see them as my own. watching scary movies and still jumping every time. frightening ourselves into seeing shadows of our own imaginations. BIC pens. college ruled paper. digital cameras and the friends to take pictures with. the One who made it all.

Blogrings

[no blogrings]

Pulse